How to Deal With Anger (page 1 of 2)	
Anger Management	
Unfortunately, when anger takes over we may say things and act in a way that we later
 
regret — especially if a supervisor, customer, or other coworkers are nearby to see the 
unpleasant event.  In addition, your words and actions may be caught on 
video that may 
be posted on social media !  These tips can prevent an anger explosion with a coworker 
and save you from a possible social media video that will allow others t
o view the event 
over and over again.
When angry, your brain shuts down and become like an "animal brain" — wit
hout 
reason and thought — and your words are more like growls.  What you say to another person "to let off 
steam" will increase bad feelings, make the problem worse, and may pr
event you from getting a raise or 
promotion.  But, to suppress (bury or keep secret) your anger does not
 work.  To keep anger inside will 
cause health problems (high blood pressure, lack of sleep),  bad habits (unhealthy eating, gossiping), and 
addictions (drinking alcohol or taking drugs).   Anger management is turning your anger into something 
good for you.  Use these tips to turn anger into something good for you:
 
Admit — you are mad.   Then take 3 steps:  a) Accept your anger emotion as part of your 
personality.  b) Stop and think about the problem.  c) Write down why you are angry.  What 
happened that made you angry?  What is the underlying feeling below your anger   — 
1) Frustration — Did something happen that you cannot change?  Did s
omething happen to 
stop your plans?  2) Emotional pain — Did someone or something hurt 
your feelings?  
3) Fear — Did someone or something cause you to feel afraid?  In add
ition to writing down 
why you are angry, talk to a trusted friend, trusted adult, or school counselor.
Wait — before acting.  To wait before acting is NOT doing nothing.  Angry people hate to do nothing.  
Wait before acting is simply DELAYING your response to the situation.  Thomas Jefferson said, "When 
angry, count to ten before you speak — if very angry, count to a hundred!"  Think of yourself as putting 
your anger in a box to be opened when you have a successful plan later. 
Leave — the situation.  If possible, remove yourself physically from the situation while emoti
ons are 
intense.  Anger may be an attempt to control another person.  By taking a break fr
om the situation you give 
yourself the important message that you cannot control others, but only 
yourself.  Also, you give others the 
message that you are not going to be controlled. 
Breathe — deep and slow.  Deep breathing gives oxygen to the brain and brings a feeling of calm.
  
Slow your breathing to "trick" your mind into thinking you are cal
m even when you’re not.  A ten-minute  walk can give you a needed break and bring fresh oxygen to the brain.  Think 8-6-8 — Breathe 
in to the count of 8, hold for 6, then breathe out to the count of 8.  D
o this ten times. 
Change — Bad Thoughts Into Good Thoughts
Change "I must get even!"  to "What would happen if I tried to get even?"  or to "How can I 
solve this situation in a way that will help me look good at work?"  

College & Career Publishing.  Permission to use with usworkworld.com subscription.  	How to Deal With Anger (page 2 of 2)	
QUICK CHECK:
1. a) What happens when anger takes over?
  b) What may happen on social media?
2.  a) What happens to your brain when angry?  
  b) What happens to your words?
3.  What 3 things happen if you keep anger inside?
4.  What is anger management?
5.  a) What do you admit?  b) List 3 steps to take.
  c) List the 3 underlying feelings below anger.
  d) In addition, what else can you do?
6.  a) Wait before acting is NOT what? 
  b) To wiat before acting is simply what? 
  c) What did Jefferson say?
7.  a) By taking a break, what message do you give 
Throw out negative head tak — "If I wasn’t so stupid, people wouldn’t treat me that way."  
 
Put in positive head talk — "I’m not stupid.  I have many good things about me."   
Think about what helps YOU — "If I learn how to smile, and deal with mean people, 
I will learn the skills needed to be a manager someday!  I am going to p
ractice  my manager 
skills by treating this not-nice person respectfully." 
Plan — for victory ahead of time.  To fail to plan is to plan to fail.  Plan what you may do 
and say in a difficult situation — Watch a person or manager who successfully deals with  
difficult people and situations.  What actions did this person take?  What words did this 
person speak?  What is this person's attitude towards the difficult customer?  Can you learn 
these same skills?  Thinking about how you are going to act, and what you are going to say, ahead of time 
is your brain's fire drill  — it helps your brain practice for a future difficult person and situation.
Listen — to the difficult coworker when it is time to deal with the situation.  To listen 
requires you to use your frontal lobe (part of brain behind forehead).
  The frontal lobe is your 
friend because good thinking and planning skills comes from the frontal 
lobe part of the brain.  
Listen to understand — not to agree with the coworker.  Use reflective listening  — repeat 
back to the person, in your own words, what you heard your coworker say.  This will give you 
control and calm the person.  (Counselors use reflective listening to understand their clients.)
Speak in a low, clear voice.   Speak your side of the case while staying calm, positive, and 
respectful.  Do not let fear keep you from speaking.  Keep emotional dis
tance —do not allow 
this coworker’s problem to become your problem — and do not let this coworker contr
ol your emotions.  
Solutions — With practice, do you think you can learn to calmly deal with difficult people?  Or, do you 
need to talk to your supervisor about a solution?  Is a transfer to anot
her job a solution?  In the work world 
you may find that one difficult person comes between you and a good paying job.   And, the dificul peron 
may want your job!  Keep your cool and don't let that happen.  Use the t
ips in this lesson to help you:  
a) LEARN to deal with difficult people; and b) PRACTICE your "supervisor and manager" skills.	
yourself?  b) What message do you give others?
8.  What 2 things does deep breathing give?
9.  a) Change "I must get even" to what?  b) How 
are you going to practice your manager skills?
10.  a) To fail to plan is what?  b) Who do you 
watch?  c) What does your brain's fire drill do?
11.  a) Why is the frontal lobe your friend?  b) What 
is reflective listening?
12.  a) What does "keep emotional distance" mean?
  b) What message does a low, clear voice send?
13.  In the work world, what may you find?
14.  Why may a difficult person try to damage your 
reputation?
15.  List 2 things tips in this lesson will help you do.